SO another year. The start of the year is both epically exciting and also a little scary. It’s a clean slate, a fresh drawing board, its this big beautiful 365 days which you can do whatever you want with. TRUE! And FUN! And you don’t need to wait until a new year (or new week) to start fresh. The truest truth is though, this idea of ‘a year’ is something that’s been totally made up. Life is life, now is now. You can start again at any give moment. Usually when the new year rolls around (actually this year was no different!) I feel like I need to set 324329 goals and finish the year as an over-accomplished robot human 😉 The truth is though, where’s the fun in THAT? This year I was a little more mindful, it’s like I’m slowly clueing onto what this life thang is all about. So what I want you to do is take a deep breath in and out 🙂 Success isn’t about big lists and pieces of paper. Its about one thing…
My definition of success is- Feeling how you want to feel in as many moments of your life as possible
So while we are coming down to the last 3 months of 2023 let’s keep this in my mind, here are 3 of my keys for making this next chunk of time as blissfully successful as you want it to be.
1) Let your feelings be your tour guide
Have you ever sat down for a ‘goal setting session’ and just gone nuts writing all these things that sound really good, with very little consideration about why you wrote them? Ya know, we just wanna make a really big list so that we seem ambitious (we wanna impress ourselves, it’s a cool trick our ego plays)., I’ve done it. My whiteboard at home was hilarious! I would write my goals for the day, or week, and if ever I felt like there were too few, I would write a few more just so it was full. This would have me feeling overwhelmed, and most importantly, disconnected from my goals. As life went on, I began to learn a little more about what it was all about. And it changed everything for me, especially how I plan and choose how life goes.
We have these gifts, called feelings, and their job in our lives are one thing and one thing only.. A guide. A sign. A signal. They let us know what’s right or wrong. When we need to change. When we need to pursue, stop pursuing. They are our clues. When you feel excited by something, move in that direction. When you feel yucky about something, move away from it. It’s that simple. My favorite question in the whole world to ask myself, and those I work with is “what excites you?” When we have the answer to this one question, we have the answer to every question… and once again, it really is that simple! Knowing this, there is no other way to plan our year than to check in with our handy little emotional guidance system FIRST. So Step #1 for planning the year is answering the question… How do you want to feel? I did this with my girfie the other week. We went nuts writing all of the feelings we wanted to feel for the remaining year and beyond. Clear, courageous, aligned, connected, calm, spacious, useful, joyful to name a few.
This exercise in itself is SO powerful. I can imagine a lot of people would do it, and then instantly realize that for quite some time, they’ve been feeling things, they wouldn’t ever choose to feel. Yet, everyday, they choose to feel them?
Once you’ve written all of the feelings you want to feel, choose THREE main tour guides. These are the bosses. These are the feelings you check in with regularly. IE say one of my feelings is ‘calm’, and I am about to make a decision which has me feeling anxious- it’s loud and clear from my tour guide that this is not the decision to make. We also use our tour guides to choose what we want to achieve and what we wanna have. IE if I want to feel joyful, courageous and calm- What are some goals of mine that will align with these and celebrate them?
When we are clear on how we want to feel, we then have our tour guides. Not only is it important to follow what excites you, but it’s also important to follow what makes you feel the OTHER feelings you want to feel. Our #1 job on this planet is to feel good. So decide what that feels like for you. And let everyday revolve around THAT. So many people write their goals because they think they SHOULD have those goals. If those goals don’t result in you feeling how you want to feel. DON’T PICK THEM 🙂
Choose how you want to feel. That will guide you to what you want to do.
2) You can do anything but you can’t do everything.
SIMPLIFY! My word for this year was SIMPLIFY 😀 It’s such a beautiful word. So simple and cute. Like I mentioned, I used to be that person who would write a million things that I wanted to achieve, overwhelm myself, and achieve a few of them. Lucky for me I had such a big list that what I DID achieve was still huge. But it’s not fun to have a whole list that doesn’t get touched and the overwhelm I felt in the process wasn’t fun either. I’m still not a fully recovered robot yet, but i’m a lot closer. One thing I remind myself of daily is ‘You can do anything but you cant do everything’. And this just makes me breathe out. You can do ANYTHING you choose to do. Anything at all. Except we spent so much time trying to do everything, that we use THAT as the excuse for not being able to do the things we most want to do. If I told you that you could do literally ANYTHING this year, what 3 things would you choose? And then, what are you doing this year that ISN’T those things? We scatter ourselves sometimes so thin, trying to do all these things which we really have NO interest in doing, when really, we could be lasering in, doing the ‘anything’ that we’re capable of. My mentor got me to choose 3 main things I wanted to achieve this year, and initially I thought he was nuts. I was all like ‘omg only 3? But i’m a crazy robot I wanna achieve 902353!’ And very soon after, I realized what I wanted to change and focus on for 2023. Simplicity. Amplifying what I am REALLY Good at. Amplifying what I REALLY want to do for the world. Amplifying what I REALLY wanna do. What REALLY makes me feel good. Rather than splitting energy and effort between more things, of less value. For those recovering big list writers like me, this is tough. But it feels SO GOOD when you focus on less, be present with less, but actually BE present with what you want the most. You can do ANYTHING, but you cant do everything. That is such a powerful statement that I hope you all embrace 🙂
One more thing I want you to all add to the list of things you KNOW you choose and desire is this….
“I create and keep space for all of the beautiful surprises that I can’t even dream up and I am open to receiving them ALL in divine timing”
When I went through this with my mentor, we spent a lot of time releasing everything around this. Because I KNOW that the real magic is going to come from places I don’t even know yet. Focus on what you desire, but create and always keep space open for the many surprises and treasures the universe has for you. The mind of the universe is SO much bigger than the mind of the human (although it’s the same thing 😉 )
3) Explore + connect
Yourself. The universe. And the connection between all of it/us/you. It’s hard for me to write ‘Go and learn that we are all one, cause we are. You are the universe and the universe is you.’ SO I won’t , but I want to. For now, what I will say is explore. I’m not talking about religions. I’m talking about unbounded, fully inclusive, all encompassing humanity. With NO separation, NO limits, NO divisions. The universe as one, you as the universe, us as each other. There is no black and white answer for how to do this, but if you want to develop a deeper relationship with yourself and the universe, yourself and others, yourself and yourself, then set the intention and guidance will come. Whether you’re called to meditation, reading.. Set the intention and guidance will appear. There is never a right or wrong way to explore and connect, what’s important is that we do 🙂 Everyday, I prioritize exploring and understanding humanity and all far beyond.. I also prioritize connecting more and more with all of humanity and all that’s beyond. There is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of oneness, and I want it for everyone. There is no quicker way to invite ease, beauty, unconditional love and trust into your life, than to be open to a deeper spiritual experience. You are a beautiful, infinite spiritual being having a human experience. It makes sense that we connect more to what we are permanently, than to what we are only temporarily 🙂
Love to all and wishing you all of the ease, flow, joy, abundance and whatever else you want to feel. J oxox
